I have a habit of scribbling my random thoughts, as and when I get them, on a piece of paper. Found such a blog I had written on the last page of a book probably 3 years back. Posting it here since the content is still valid.
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A few days back, I heard very disturbing news. My cousin's friend, aged 26, committed suicide by hanging himself to a ceiling fan, My cousin, who had gone to a movie with him just 4 days before the incident, was visibly shaken, There was no suicide note and no apparent reason for the extreme step. A smiling moviegoer was turned to a dangling corpse!
In this day and age, it is so easy to succumb to pressure, collapsed dreams and broken relationships. The rising number of suicides is just a fraction of these people under pressure taking the next step. There is an insightful article regarding the probable cause of the increasing number of suicides in the current generation.
The article mentions the differences in generations starting from our grandfathers' generation. The post-independence middle class had different challenges. All they were concerned about was a good house they can raise their children in and basic facilities for their children. These children, our parents, were educated and dreamt of some luxuries in their life. Remember the first time your family got a car?
Our generation, on the other hand, is already born with ample luxuries. We never had to fight or save to get the things we wanted. We were taught to dream big, of course, you can get an international degree, a high paying job, an Audi for that matter. We dreamt of having an even more luxurious life and took efforts in that direction. However, life and luck don't go according to our whim and will trip you sooner or later. In all this 'aiming for the sky' spirit, we were probably not taught the most important thing - It is okay to dream big; just don't expect all those dreams to come true.
So how can we try and come out of this mirage of 'I deserve it' that we are living in? Here are some things I learned when I was going through a speed-breaker in my life -
1) Be Realistic - Just as we start any business or task with positive enthusiasm, start moving towards your dreams with optimism. However, always have the worst case scenario at the back of your mind. Being aware of where you can fail will prepare you in case things don't go as planned.
2) Don't compare - Your friends, colleagues, relatives your age might have achieved what they wanted. This can be a constant frustrating factor when you compare your life with others and conclude that your life sucks. Remember everyone has their own arc and their own struggle.
3) Get off social media - Just for a few days. Social media has a tendency to highlight just the happy side of any person. Accepting this to be the entire truth can further take you down that big dark hole.
4) Talk to your friends - It can be just one friend. But tell him/her everything. Sharing your feelings makes your heart lighter. Listening to their advice/similar experiences will help you stay positive.
5) Read similar experiences - For me, I did this on Quora. People who have gone through similar incidents/situations or worse experiences can harden your resolve with 'If he can do it, I can do it too' attitude. Reading about the way other people fought back can give you the energy and spirit to continue down the road.
In any case, it is very important to understand that this isn't a never-ending tunnel. It might seem dark all around right now, but there will be light at the end. Our duration in the tunnel might vary but our attitude is what will help us sail through to the other end.
My handwritten notes which I abruptly found... more to motivate myself than anything else! On a lighter note, I think I should start writing dates on my random scribbles.
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A few days back, I heard very disturbing news. My cousin's friend, aged 26, committed suicide by hanging himself to a ceiling fan, My cousin, who had gone to a movie with him just 4 days before the incident, was visibly shaken, There was no suicide note and no apparent reason for the extreme step. A smiling moviegoer was turned to a dangling corpse!
In this day and age, it is so easy to succumb to pressure, collapsed dreams and broken relationships. The rising number of suicides is just a fraction of these people under pressure taking the next step. There is an insightful article regarding the probable cause of the increasing number of suicides in the current generation.
The article mentions the differences in generations starting from our grandfathers' generation. The post-independence middle class had different challenges. All they were concerned about was a good house they can raise their children in and basic facilities for their children. These children, our parents, were educated and dreamt of some luxuries in their life. Remember the first time your family got a car?
Our generation, on the other hand, is already born with ample luxuries. We never had to fight or save to get the things we wanted. We were taught to dream big, of course, you can get an international degree, a high paying job, an Audi for that matter. We dreamt of having an even more luxurious life and took efforts in that direction. However, life and luck don't go according to our whim and will trip you sooner or later. In all this 'aiming for the sky' spirit, we were probably not taught the most important thing - It is okay to dream big; just don't expect all those dreams to come true.
So how can we try and come out of this mirage of 'I deserve it' that we are living in? Here are some things I learned when I was going through a speed-breaker in my life -
1) Be Realistic - Just as we start any business or task with positive enthusiasm, start moving towards your dreams with optimism. However, always have the worst case scenario at the back of your mind. Being aware of where you can fail will prepare you in case things don't go as planned.
2) Don't compare - Your friends, colleagues, relatives your age might have achieved what they wanted. This can be a constant frustrating factor when you compare your life with others and conclude that your life sucks. Remember everyone has their own arc and their own struggle.
3) Get off social media - Just for a few days. Social media has a tendency to highlight just the happy side of any person. Accepting this to be the entire truth can further take you down that big dark hole.
4) Talk to your friends - It can be just one friend. But tell him/her everything. Sharing your feelings makes your heart lighter. Listening to their advice/similar experiences will help you stay positive.
5) Read similar experiences - For me, I did this on Quora. People who have gone through similar incidents/situations or worse experiences can harden your resolve with 'If he can do it, I can do it too' attitude. Reading about the way other people fought back can give you the energy and spirit to continue down the road.
In any case, it is very important to understand that this isn't a never-ending tunnel. It might seem dark all around right now, but there will be light at the end. Our duration in the tunnel might vary but our attitude is what will help us sail through to the other end.
My handwritten notes which I abruptly found... more to motivate myself than anything else! On a lighter note, I think I should start writing dates on my random scribbles.
A blog worth generously reading by our generation...! Pls keep writing
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot for your encouragement.
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