Dreams

I have a habit of scribbling my random thoughts, as and when I get them, on a piece of paper. Found such a blog I had written on the last page of a book probably 3 years back. Posting it here since the content is still valid.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days back, I heard very disturbing news. My cousin's friend, aged 26, committed suicide by hanging himself to a ceiling fan, My cousin, who had gone to a movie with him just 4 days before the incident, was visibly shaken, There was no suicide note and no apparent reason for the extreme step. A smiling moviegoer was turned to a dangling corpse!

In this day and age, it is so easy to succumb to pressure, collapsed dreams and broken relationships. The rising number of suicides is just a fraction of these people under pressure taking the next step. There is an insightful article regarding the probable cause of the increasing number of suicides in the current generation.

The article mentions the differences in generations starting from our grandfathers' generation. The post-independence middle class had different challenges. All they were concerned about was a good house they can raise their children in and basic facilities for their children. These children, our parents, were educated and dreamt of some luxuries in their life. Remember the first time your family got a car?

Our generation, on the other hand, is already born with ample luxuries. We never had to fight or save to get the things we wanted. We were taught to dream big, of course, you can get an international degree, a high paying job, an Audi for that matter. We dreamt of having an even more luxurious life and took efforts in that direction. However, life and luck don't go according to our whim and will trip you sooner or later. In all this 'aiming for the sky' spirit, we were probably not taught the most important thing - It is okay to dream big; just don't expect all those dreams to come true.

So how can we try and come out of this mirage of 'I deserve it' that we are living in? Here are some things I learned when I was going through a speed-breaker in my life -

1) Be Realistic - Just as we start any business or task with positive enthusiasm, start moving towards your dreams with optimism. However, always have the worst case scenario at the back of your mind. Being aware of where you can fail will prepare you in case things don't go as planned.

2) Don't compare - Your friends, colleagues, relatives your age might have achieved what they wanted. This can be a constant frustrating factor when you compare your life with others and conclude that your life sucks. Remember everyone has their own arc and their own struggle.

3) Get off social media - Just for a few days. Social media has a tendency to highlight just the happy side of any person. Accepting this to be the entire truth can further take you down that big dark hole.

4) Talk to your friends -  It can be just one friend. But tell him/her everything. Sharing your feelings makes your heart lighter. Listening to their advice/similar experiences will help you stay positive.

5) Read similar experiences - For me, I did this on Quora. People who have gone through similar incidents/situations or worse experiences can harden your resolve with 'If he can do it, I can do it too' attitude. Reading about the way other people fought back can give you the energy and spirit to continue down the road.

In any case, it is very important to understand that this isn't a never-ending tunnel. It might seem dark all around right now, but there will be light at the end. Our duration in the tunnel might vary but our attitude is what will help us sail through to the other end.

My handwritten notes which I abruptly found... more to motivate myself than anything else! On a lighter note, I think I should start writing dates on my random scribbles.

AJAYA - Because Truth is Subjective!

"History is always written by the winners. When two cultures clash, the loser is obliterated, and the winner writes the history books-books which glorify their own cause and disparage the conquered foe. As Napolean once said, 'What is history, but a fable agreed upon?'"

-Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code

I don't know what to believe anything anymore. Truth is subjective and history more so. I have started believing that when history was written, whoever wrote it, put in his/her own interpretations and prejudices which have come to define the history which we now read and assume to be true.

The reason of so many thoughts in my head is the book which I recently completed reading - 'Ajaya - Roll of the Dice'. It is written by Anand Neelakantan and describes the story of Mahabharata through the Kaurava eyes. The author mentions how he has always been intrigued by the anti-hero, Duryodhana in this case, and decided to write this book when he found out that there are some places in Kerala where people still worship Duryodhana as God. The book is fascinating since it raises a lot of questions which have, surprisingly, never crossed our minds might be because we have always been fed the 'Pandavas are good, Kauravas are evil' story with much conviction since our childhood.

'If Duryodhana was evil, why did Bhishma, Dronacharya still support him', 'If the Pandavas were not Pandu's children (since Pandu was known to be impotent), and Pandu was the younger brother of Dhritarashtra, what claim did the Pandavas have to the throne?', 'Was Shishupala's murder by Krishna justified?'

The most fascinating thing in the entire book is how the writer has weaved fiction and mythology together with the same stories that we know by heart; but with an entire different precedent and reasoning to it - What exactly happened at the house of lac, What was the probable reason of Draupadi getting married off to all the five Pandavas, Was destroying the entire Khandiva forest justified?

A few examples below which really got me thinking -

1) Duryodhana was earlier called Suyodhana - 
The Kaurava kids had names of 'Suyodhana', 'Sushasana' and 'Sushala'.
Their names were later coined as 'Duryodhana', 'Dushana' and 'Dushala' by the Pandavas after appending 'Du' at the beginning which means 'bad/evil' after the 'misunderstandings' started of the Kauravas being the evil people in front of the very principled and obedient Pandavas.

2) Draupadi getting married to all Pandavas -
Book Version - Arjuna rightly won Draupadi in her Swayamvar by hitting the rotating fish's eye. She disagreed to marry Karna because of his caste. Later when they reached home, according to the book, Kunti saw that Yudhishtra had taken a liking to Draupadi and looked quite smitten by her. To avoid any arguments between the brothers (since they needed to stay together to take over the throne), Kunti made Draupadi marry all five brothers. Later during the Indraprastha city opening ceremony, Gandhari muses over the possibility of Kunti being so unsure of her upbringing that she thinks a girl can break the bond between brothers.
Popular Version - In the main fable, Arjuna brings Draupadi home and asks his mom to see what he has brought. Kunti, without knowing, from inside the house, says that whatever it is should be shared by all the brothers as she has taught them from childhood. Taking mom's word as an order, it is decided that Draupadi should be shared too.

3) House of Lac -
Book Version - The Pandavas had come to know of the secret plot to burn the lac house built for them by the Kauravas. They knew that if they escaped, the Kauravas would not stop hunting for them. So they needed to show that the entire family had perished in the fire. According to the book, the Pandavas found a beggar and her 5 kids on the street and bought them to the house of lac on the pretense of feeding them food. After a hearty meal, the beggars realized that the food was actually laced with poison. But it was too late. All 6 of them died in the palace. They were to be a cover for the Pandavas so that the Kauravas think that all Pandavas have perished and do not keep hunting for them. However, the beggar kids were younger and smaller as compared to the Pandavas and there was a possibility that the Kauravas wouldn't be fooled by these bodies. To make the identification task difficult, it is said that the same poisoned food was fed to all the soldiers guarding the palace. The palace was lit on fire and the Pandavas escaped. With so many burnt bodies, it was difficult for anyone to identify or confirm and easier to assume that the Pandavas had died in the fire. Yudhishtra had argued about the necessity and righteousness of poisoning the soldier but Kunti, in the book, justifies the poisoning by saying that a soldier's Dharma is to protect his masters. By sacrificing their lives, the soldiers are doing their duty and following their Dharma.
Popular Version - In the popular version of Mahabharata, the Pandavas had procured and placed dead bodies in the palace to remove suspicion about the escape.

4) Destroying the Khandiva forest & Mayasura -
Book Version - The Khandiva forest was home to the under privileged groups who were residing in the forest along with other jungle animals. They were mostly beggars, physically challenged people, basically crowds you wouldn't want to see in an influential city. The forest was given to the Pandavas by Kauravas to appease them from trying for the throne. Krishna convinced Yudhishtra to take up the challenge and build a great city where it was least expected. To start off with their vision, they had to burn the entire forest. When the forest starting burning, the animals tried running away but found soldiers on all sides who pierced them with arrows. When the humans dwelling in the forest realized that their houses were getting destroyed, they pleaded to Krishna and Yudhishtra to save their lives. Krishna saw a potential population who could be used to do all the work to build up the city. He also found Mayasura among st the jungle people who was a great architect and who convinced Krishna to hire him to give shape to Krishna's vision. Mayasura and his people were recruited as workers and worked day and night to build the great city of Indraprastha.
On the day of the city's inauguration, soldiers were ordered to relocated all the people to the other side of the river. This was because, such a bright, shining, prosperous city couldn't be seen having untidy, deformed, dirty beggars roaming it's streets. The entire worker population was uprooted and sent away since their work in the entire scheme of things was done.
Popular Version - Mayasura was a Rakshasa and he fought the Pandavas. Pandava spared his life when he said he will build Indraprastha. The Khandava jungle was a bhog or offering to lord Agni. I had not heard of mention of many workers and other communities in the jungle.

5) Shishupala's Murder - 
Book Version - According to the book, this was a cold blooded murder by Krishna in an assembly of all great kings and no one dared to go against Krishna because of his assumed divinity and because his supporters outnumbered his challengers.
Shishupala was challenging Yudhishtra's decision of inviting Krishna as the Chief Guest on the occasion of Indraprastha city's inauguration. He believed that Krishna had done nothing to warrant this special seat in front of dignitaries like Bhishma and Dronacharya. He bashed Krishna in a strong language and questioned his authority to lead the world and of him doing wrong deeds in the name of Dharma.
Krishna had had enough and killed him with his chakra in front of the entire assembly. A huge battle ruptured but since Krishna had enough supporters on his side, the other party could not do much and had to leave from there.
Popular Version - In the other version of this, Krishna kills off Shishupala since Shishupala had done his share of wrongs and atrocities and he needed to be stopped. (त्याच्या पापाचा घडा भरला होता)

These and a lot such stories make up for a very very interesting read. I wouldn't want to take the book at it's face value though. Like we were taught to revere the Pandavas since childhood, this book tries to make the reader believe that Duryodhana (earlier Suyodhana) was all good and Krishna along with the Pandavas followed Dharma blindly without questioning the motive or correctness of it. However, the book does make you think twice since everything fits so perfectly together even with this tale that the author has spun. If nothing else, it has definitely intrigued me to a point where I now want to complete the second part of the book and then take up the original Mahabharata and see the rationale behind the scenes from the other angle.

For mythology book lovers, this is definitely a must read! :)

Cherry on the cake, I was so enthralled with the book that I wrote to the author my words of appreciation for his masterpiece. And I got a reply back the very next morning! :)

Sandwiches, Burgers and Coffee!

Its been years since I have been active here. There is so much to say and so much going in my mind and I have finally sat down to describe my experiences in the first foreign country I visited.

These are my experiences in Canada. I spent around 2.5 years there and I am grateful, humbled, excited and nostalgic about my experience in the country. I have had so many incidents as a lone first timer in a new country. These experiences come out as fond memories in every discussion I have with friends. Penning them down is like reliving my Canadian days once again...

This post is specifically about the time I worked in the service industry while I was studying and later when I was searching for jobs. Though I hadn't done any such work in India ever, these days were memorable and fun even though they paid the minimum wage set by the province. I believe they have also shaped my customer handling skills since I had to interact with numerous people from different walks of life. Lastly, I know they have made me appreciate the kind of physical effort that goes into these type of jobs and I now look at physical labor with a new found respect.

Subway (Sep 15 - May 16) - I started working in Subway 2 hours everyday from 5 -7 pm as a Cashier/Sandwich artist. This shop was in my university itself  and I started working here mostly to supplement my education with some additional income. Though my shift was of only 2 hours, that time was the busiest time in the day since there would be a lot of students coming in for a sub; probably on their way home. I remember the senior aunties working alongside us telling us that we were making around 200 sandwiches in 2 hours!
Anyway, I started off as a sandwich artist and was explained how many tomatoes to put in, how to smile and ask them what they would like to have today, how to pronounce 'cold cut' in the Canadian accent (Indian accent was a little difficult for them to understand) etc. I became pretty good at the vegetable counter soon. After a few months I was allowed to be on the meat selection side of the counter. I was ecstatic! It felt like a mini promotion and was super exciting since I could now actually understand the different types of meat available; meats which I had never seen/eaten or even heard in my life. Turkey, ham, meat balls, cold cut, BLT, BMT oh the options!
We had three ladies working with us in the eatery who used to manage the kitchen/back shop and made sure that the breads, meat, veggies and sauces don't run out. They also helped us on the counter if there were too many people in the queue. We were a team and it was fun working together. Sensing that I was missing out being with my family during my first Diwali away from home, the Punjabi aunty even gifted me bangles on Diwali day.
Wondering if we ate subways everyday? I wish! We were allowed to take one 6 inch sub home only on Fridays. I made the best chicken teriyaki sub (every time) with loaded veggies. Yes, that was dinner. Sometimes we got cookies and cakes on Friday which were almost close to the end of their shelf life and were glad and happy about the free food.
The best compliment I have ever received was on the university 'UBC Compliments' page where someone wrote that he/she liked my way of greeting customers and making them feel welcome. There is no happiness as getting appreciated!

Waitressing - This was an ad-hoc one event stint that I took up to earn some extra bucks. There was a conference in the university and they wanted people to help out with serving, taking out dishes etc. We started around 3 pm with arranging tables, chairs and the cutlery (in the correct way) in the huge hall. I had never done this before and was obviously nervous. However, in a white shirt and black trousers (as told to us before) and an apron and cap provided by them, I totally looked the part! People started coming around 6 pm. I was in charge of 3 round tables which hosted around 15 people. Serving them food and wine went pretty well. I almost poured the hot coffee post dinner on a gentleman but he moved, I apologized and there was no harm done. He and his wife were university alumni and made polite conversation about my studies and and wished me well in the future. While leaving, he placed a $5 note in my hand as tip and I almost had tears in my eyes. It was my first ever tip and I knew I had totally earned it.
However, my joy was short lived when the following happened. I had collected all the empty wine glasses in a round tray and was taking them inside the kitchen area. The inside area had a door which needed to be pushed to go in. I requested a friend of mine to hold the door open since I had quite a heavy tray in my hands. I have no idea what happened next, but the door slammed shut when I was trying to go in, collided with the tray in my hands and knocked all the finely shaped wine glasses off the tray on the floor in pieces. I was totally embarrassed. My friend and I cleaned up the debris and I apologized profusely to the main organizer. She was sweet enough to let it go saying that first timers do make mistakes. Cheery on the cake was that the wine glass amount wasn't deducted from my pay check as I had expected them to do.
Cleaning up later, putting things in place, it was almost 10 pm till we were done and ready to go home. We had worked continuously from 3 pm to 10 pm without a single moment of rest. Finally when I crawled in my bed around 11, my entire body, especially my back, was hurting. Hats off to the waiters and servers who do this continuous physical activity with a smile on their faces.

A & W Burger Shop (June 16 - Sep 16) - My course had completed and I was looking out for jobs. Job hunt is a tedious process and I needed something to sustain myself in the city. This is when I got the burger shop job after randomly giving out my resumes in Vancouver downtown. I was literally going into every shop and giving out my resume which had 'Subway' as the major experience. I got this interview during one such resume distribution day and was asked to join the next day. I was asked to work in the burger shop kitchen the first day and taught to make burgers. Unfortunately, I sucked in the kitchen. They realized this when they saw me trying to put in a patty in the burger but breaking the patty in half, in the process. Fortunately though, they realized I could be good at the cash counter. So I was transferred to the cashier/counter role. This role expected me to talk to people, take their orders, give them the preparations from the kitchen, clean up tables, wash dishes and clean up the washrooms. At the cash counter, it took me a while to remember the different burgers they offered along with trying to understand what exactly goes in each burger.
Unlike other jobs, this was a full time 8 hour shift. Weekdays I used to work from 8 am to 4 pm and on weekends my shift was from 6 am to 2 pm. I had to catch the first bus and first skytrain to reach my weekend shift on time.
My experiences in this job were unusual. There was some construction going on on the road in front of the shop and at 10:15 am everyday, around 15-20 construction workers used to come to the shop for their daily breakfast. Keeping in mind everyone's almost similar order and giving the correct order to the correct 'same dressed person' was a task. I remember during one particularly busy lunch time, I mistakenly packed 2 burgers instead of 4 on a take away order. The lady came rushing back in 10 minutes, fuming and screaming that we were duping her. My manager and I had to apologize and give her the correct parcel to make peace with her. Another time, another lady who was a regular used to come every Saturday and order the same breakfast with one white and one brown bread. A few weeks later, she used to just wave her hand and I knew what she wanted!
Weekends early mornings were a different experience altogether. Since the shop was open 24/7, we used to get teenagers and party people dropping by for food early morning after probably a night of partying. Most of the time these people were pretty hungover and we had to deal with such crowds tactfully. It wasn't just party people, but the 24 hour shop attracted homeless people too who used to
order something minimal and sit or sleep on the table itself.
Another time, during a slow afternoon, I was sent on the main road with discount coupons to attract customers. I spent around an hour stopping random people on the street handing out the flyers. Most people ignored, some took the coupons and walked away and a few stopped by to understand what we were offering.
At the end of my time here, I knew a lot of people, was proficient with the burgers being served and had enjoyed my time at the eatery. However, I knew this wasn't my calling and had decided to move from Vancouver to Toronto in search of better job opportunities.

Second Cup Coffee Shop (Nov 16 - Jan 16) - I had moved to Toronto to look for some opportunities in my masters related field. However, sitting at home the whole day and applying online was a very frustrating task. So I decided to take up some part time work. After 2-3 days of randomly walking into shops again, I was called to a coffee shop which was around 15 minutes (but 2 buses) away from my house. This is important because it was winter time in Toronto and I used to almost freeze till the time I changed buses and came home.
In the coffee shop, I started off with just 2 hours per day which later increased to a 4 hour shift. My initial responsibility was pouring ready made coffee into cups and managing the cash counter. Screwed up a little again here when I almost burnt a sandwich because I forgot I had kept it for grilling, but compared to my previous screw ups this was a no biggie. As an exclusive privilege, we were allowed to make ourselves a ready made coffee (no latte or other fancy coffees), free of cost, every day after work. I was always thankful to the coffees and apple ciders which kept me and my hands warm during the ride home.
I again got a little promotion here when I was allowed to work on the cappuccino machine. I almost successfully made my first ever latte correctly including the customized order of no-foam, 2% milk, skinny etc. The milk didn't quite reach up to the brim and I quickly poured some more to top it up before giving it to the lady. (Not a very good first time job I guess!). The first time I got a random $5 tip in the coffee shop, I splurged it on buying a customized hazelnut latte from the same place before leaving for the day after my shift. The drink was well earned!
Within a month of joining the coffee shop, I got a job in my field of study and quit from here. But not before I had enjoyed a nice Christmas evening with the Punjabi Indian family who owned this shop and who used to give such a treat every year to their employees.

Thus ended my service industry work. I haven't worked in such an environment again. But as I mentioned before, these experiences have shaped me to be who I am today. I smile at the cleaning ladies at my work place, know the garbage collector lady who comes to my home personally and don't look down on any type of work which is done with dignity. I believe I am a much better human being now!

NEELKANTHESHWAR

Impromptu plans work out the best! I had another such experience when we wound up at Neelkantheshwar one Sunday morning. The original plan included travelling to Kaas pathar which is place around Satara having a volley of beautiful flowers. It has recently become a tourist destination and is now known for the beautiful sights it offers for 2 weeks in a year when the flowers are in full bloom. As of 9:30 pm on Saturday night, this was the plan. At 10 pm same day, our destination and timings had completely changed.

We heard some first-hand experiences from people who had been there the day before and the week before. Apparently, this splendid view was as crowded as any place in Mumbai or Pune would be. Moreover, since it had rained heavily for a few days before, there was mud all around and vehicles had to be parked a kilometer or two away from the main area. Believing this hearsay, we decided to skip this plan and instead made a new one of going to Neelkantheshwar which is around a 100 kms from Pune.

I had been to Neelkantheshwar once before, during my college time. What I had completely forgotten was how steep the climb till the main area was. Huffing and puffing, getting more breathless and tired than my approx. 50 year old relatives, (I doubt how they can still be so enthusiastic), we finally reached the top after almost 45 min of climbing. The scenic view from each stop point was a short relief punctuated by the daunting task of keeping climbing. The buttermilk at the foot of the mandir was refreshing. I, for one, was relieved that my stamina ordeal compared to my relatives was over!

Neelkantheshwar is a beautiful place located at the top of a hill overlooking the Pashan dam. Intermediate rains have kept the area evergreen and the view was beautiful. This place has a very interesting concept. They have depicted scenes from mythology with the help of immovable human and animal figures. Most of the scenes have a small nameplate giving an idea of the story portrayed. Exploring the area and trying to figure out the story depicted by the scene was the most fun part.

                           Picturesque view of the Pashan dam from up the hill

The most interesting part was the level of detailing in each and every scene. Like in the scene depicting Draupadi Vastraharan, the entire scene is shown in the most grueling details. While we have Dushasan trying to disrobe Draupadi, there is Krishna who is providing more and more cloth to Draupadi so that her saree never seems to end. Watching this whole ordeal are the Pandavas sitting with Shakuni with the chessboard in front of them. In the background are Dhritarashtra and Gandhari; ofcourse with a cloth covering her eyes. It was very interesting to notice each and every small detail described!  

                            The Raslila depiction - Krishna dancing with gopis

                                                                    Bakasur and Bhima scene  

                     Kumbhakaran from Mahabharat and people trying to wake him up from his sleep

This was just one of the many my mythological scenes depicted in the huge area with statues. Along with this, there were status of the 7 rishis whose lineage we carry, statues of all main Gods in excruciating detail (Indra riding in his rath) amongst many others. Apart from the mythological scenes, there were scenes depicting our saints too. We were enthralled with Gorakumbhar, Tukaram, Dyaneshwar and their stories. 

There were many scenes which I had no clue about but which are deep rooted in our mythology. Some baby born from an elephant's ear, a baby being born from the bark of a tree, and many such scenes looking at which I realized the need to read and understand our mythology in detail. Ramanyan and Mahabharat have become famous for obvious reasons but there are so many other equally interesting and informative stories from mythology. 

This all is built around a main Shiv mandir. The Shiv mandir is said to be auspicious such that wishes asked there are usually fulfilled. They also have a free prasad lunch for everybody there at noon. Small refreshment huts serving tea, coffee, onion pakoras can be found, though more options are available on crowded weekends. 

                                                                            View while walking down the hill

Walking down was as pleasant as climbing up wasn't. We could stand at every picturesque location and enjoy the nature (and click pictures ofcourse). It was all a downward slope and a cakewalk compared to the upward climb; and we were at the starting point in no time. Ended this short and interesting trip with an amazing lunch at Mirch Masala on the way back home! Was home for my weekend noon nap along with being refreshed and happy with the interesting short trip! 

Social Media and Hypocrisy!

Social media has taken over our lives. Staying updated about the whereabouts of our family and friends from miles apart, being a part of their happiness even if you aren’t there in person, are all advantages that make us crave more and more for some online time.

However, there is a severe downside to all of this. And I am not saying this with the perspective of straining your eyes while continuously glaring into the mobile or not spending enough time with family and friends because you are happier in the virtual world. Social media has not only changed our lifestyle and the way we perceive happiness (number of likes/upvotes) but also altered our personality to the point that we are losing ourselves to our virtual self.

Imagine you chatting with an acquaintance or someone who still isn’t in your ‘close friends’ group. The natural instinct while chatting with such a person is to appear cool, witty, one who thinks on his/her feet and is a natural conversationalist. It won’t be a surprise if we type-untype a sentence couple of times till we are sure we are coming across as someone we strive to be; not the person we are. As opposed to this, in a personal meeting setup, we don’t tend to over-analyze, overthink about every sentence before saying it. We may get ridiculed for saying pretty dumb things sometimes but don’t you think that is totally worth than sounding like someone you are not?

We Indians have always been a hypocritical lot. There are a lot of memes going around these days about our hypocritical society. ‘We can pee in public, not kiss in public’ being the most popular one. This ‘digital persona’ of ours is probably the hyper sensationalized version of this hypocrisy. Spend more and more time on social media and you come across a lot of examples where fake flamboyance and showiness have taken over genuine emotion.

Starting with the current trend of ‘Mother’s day’ and ‘Father’s day’. I am all for appreciating what our parents have done for us all our life. I am sure everybody has stories about his/her mother and father sacrificing something to keep their child happy and content. Their contributions should definitely be appreciated. But won’t it be better to show your appreciation by taking them out for dinner, or cooking something they like than posting a photo on facebook saying ‘I love you mom/dad’? Most of the parents aren’t even on facebook and won’t even see these messages. So who are we posting this for? Our parents, to feel good about our self, or for our social image?

Another story I heard was something on the same lines. A boy was really impressed when his girlfriend mentioned that she wanted to visit an old-age home. After arriving there, all she did was click a few selfies with the members there to post on her social media page. After getting what she wanted, she left. Her digital image would show her to be a compassionate, noble soul who spends her free time working for the betterment of the society. So much disparity between the real her and the digital her!

It is not just on Facebook that this ‘trying to set my image’ trend exists. I am on Quora which is a question-answer social network with a huge population of intellectuals. Talks here include anything under the sun; but even they aren’t without their own share of hypocrisy. When asked ‘What would you do if you have 1 lakh excess amount’, someone replies ‘I would teach a child’. Such a noble thought! But has anyone ever thought that it does not take a lakh Rs. to teach someone and if someone is really serious about this, they can do that in less than a 1000 Rs. As someone rightly pointed out in the comments section, primary education is almost free in government schools. If someone is genuinely interested in doing what they say they want to do, they would have had all the necessary information to take this step anytime in the present or future. Empty vessels make the most noise they say!

A lot of the Quora questions are based on ‘What are you doing for the country’, ‘How can you make this world a better place’. Honestly, if every person who wrote answers on these questions does what he/she writes, along with spreading what and how he is doing it, India (or world) will actually be a better place! An argument to this can be that there are only 2% Indians on Quora and maybe they are actually doing whatever they say. Taking a positive view on this, I really hope everybody is doing their share and are not posting these answers just to have a good social image.

Everybody has an opinion these days about whatever is going on in the world. Everyone opposed and ridiculed the Yulin festival in China even though all animals anywhere on the face of the earth are undergoing the same fate. An IAS officer writing an essay of ‘Why should dowry be eradicated’, asking for ‘1 Crore’ dowry at his own wedding, is another such hypocrisy. People ridicule the beef ban; change their profile pictures to show solidarity to the current events. (Coloured pics to support same sex marriage currently) All this definitely helps in increasing awareness and spreading the word. However, blinding protesting or supporting a cause without enough knowledge about the same is as harmful as half-baked knowledge always is. Support and spread awareness after educating yourself completing regarding the issue rather than posting up stuff just for the sake of it.

I am not even going into the ‘Awwwwwwwwwwwws’ (raised to infinity), ‘I miss you’ s and ‘I love you’ s that are so frequently seen on our Facebook page these days. (Since when did saying ‘I love you’ to people-close or acquaintances- become so common in India?)  Though there might be a tinge of truthfulness in these expressions, it would be so much better if these feelings are conveyed to the respective person along with raising the hotness (?) of our Facebook page.

If only we would focus on making our self a better person in real life than trying to portray an idealistic social image…

From a developing country to a developed one!

Its been months (or has it been a year) that I haven't been very active on my blog. There were many ideas in mind, some completely clear in the form of sentences and paragraphs too but somehow never made it to this blog. Finally, I have found time to get off my bed and out of my laziness and have put some of those thoughts here.

Its been almost half a year that I have been in Canada now, away from my home and my family. To say that this has been an exciting journey would be an understatement. The experiences I have got here are completely different than those I would have got in India. I met different people and came to know about their various experiences which were so distinct from mine. Food wise it has been a totally satisfying journey as I have tasted home cooked Persian, Moroccan, Korean and of course Indian food. Hoping to taste many such different cuisines here! I have also learnt many things about myself which I was unaware of- one of them being that I am horrible with directions!! Would never have learnt this in the city where I have spent 23 years of my life!

I also found a vast difference between the country of my origin and the country of my current residence. The difference wasn't just in the way of life but in the way people and authorities behave. The first experience I had was when I went to open a bank account in a local bank. They asked for my passport as identification and there was a 20 Rs note in the passport left by mistake. The bank officer smiled and gave me my money back saying 'You know, we don't take bribes here!' (Impressions foreigners have of India... But this in some other blog! )

Another difference was the way unknown people smile at you on roads, say how are you and make random talk about your well-being in cafes and restaurants. Coming from a country where I am trained to be suspicious of all things around me, I kept on finding some possible intention that people might have in thanking a bus driver after a bus ride.

This made me think about the differences in attitudes of the people in both countries. The way a country turns out to be depends a lot on the people in that country. It is said that an Indian in America wont spit on the roads there but he will on the roads when he comes back to India. Is that a fear of authorities or just imitation of people there? Whatever it is, it is working well for the country. Agreed that the government in India isn't an ideal one, but are we as people doing enough to make the country better? For example Government has put over-bridges on roads with extra traffic but still people prefer crossing the roads in the heavy traffic endangering their own lives. The under-walk pavement on major intersections for people to cross the road are unused and the photo frames used to decorate the under-walk are stolen. There are sketches and hearts on public monuments and tobacco stains in buses and trains. I doubt people know what zebra crossings are meant for because nobody even thinks of waiting behind one.

Of course in our huge population it is impossible to expect people to stand in a line while getting on a bus or a train as it is done here. That would only mean missing the means of transport. How difficult is it to go at 80 kmph speed limit on the expressway and not speed above it? But only blaming the government will do us no good.

What we are lacking as people of India is basic civic sense. If everybody tries to follow and abide by the basic rules and regulations laid down, there will be more discipline. It would ensure that atleast whatever amenities are in place are utilized to their maximum potential.

We have proved that we have a great culture. We have stood together when people around us needed us the most- be it during the Mumbai floods when people gave food and drinks to others affected by the floods, Mumbai attacks where the National Security guards were felicitated by common people for fishing out all the terrorists from The Taj or the recent Delhi rape case when people came on the streets fighting for justice for the victim. All we need is a little discipline, a need to believe that the country is your home and a little more empathy for people at all times. This is what we can do, according to me, from our side to take the step from being a developing country to being a developed one! 

MEMORIES...

Just two days before I had a wonderful experience. It was like going back into time.

My mom,sister and I were chatting about our childhood memories when my sister had a brainwave of taking out all our photo albums.

We started going through them and the memories started rushing in.

There were photos of my sister when she was a baby and we remembered how she didnt use to leave my mom at all and cry the whole time when my mom wasnt around, how she liked to eat chips after getting up early in the morning.

My photos reminded me of how stupidly naive i used to look (though i cant say the situation has improved), my teeth in front with braces on.

We also remembered all our clothes and also where and when we had brought them from. We had our favourites, then also!

We saw mom and dad getting married.. They were seriously thinner than they are now, to say nothing of the greying hair and fading hairline.. :)

Seeing the photos of our grandparents brought back memories of the gifts they had given us, the unique mannerisms and identities of them which since long have faded away from this world but will never from our mind.

Then there was our old house before the renovation which was simpler but somehow more appealing than the current one.

It also reminded us of the places we had visited, the gardens we used to frequent...

Then I went to my report cards. Right from the kindergarten till the 10th. I was estatic to see the comments my teachers had given me.Felt like I had gone back to school.The class photos at the back were a thing of enjoyment in itself. I could almost see my classmates grow up slowly as each year passed. I remembered the tokens we used to get for a good behaviour and all of us proudly showing them off in the photograph.

When I compared those with the people i had recently met, there was such a stark difference. Some had grown up from being chubby, with specs to being lean with lenses.

Some had grown so tall that it was hard recognising them.

Remembering people I once used to share all my time with, people who were distinct in their own way, people who had come in my life for a very short period, teachers who very fun, made me want to relive all those moments again.

So much a photo album can do, take us back into memory lane.

So anyday you feel sad or depressed, feel as if there is no one for u, just take out your photo albums and go through them. U will find thousands of faces smiling back at you... :)